Friday, April 14, 2006

The Lost Blogs - Day 5

Note: The following is part of a Grassroots Blogger Book Marketing Campaign, or GBBMC for short. In an ingenious stint to promote Paul Davidson's book, "The Lost Blogs", over 40 bloggers will each be blogging as their preferred historical figure for a entire week and at the same time, take a shot at guessing who each of the other writers are blogging as. Do check out the other Lost Bloggers on my Blogroll and get a kick out of these fictitious blogs.

Do you know who I really am yet?

"
The Lost Blogs" will be out next month and contains artifacts written by history's most infamous personalities.

==========================================

Sometimes how a person turns out in the end has a whole lot to do with his family. Fathers and mothers simply have no idea how their words and actions could impact a kid's future, sometimes for life.

I couldn't help but wonder if my parents have any influence in the kind of movies I make. The tense relationship Norman shared with his mom - well, Alma told me it sort of reminded her of me and MY mom. I used to stand at the foot of my mom's bed every day and tell her about my day.

I love Alma, but I've got this problem. I could not stomach the sight of a pregnant woman. I know she needs me, but her bloated stomach simply looked too gruesome for my taste. Hate me, but I still feel that's the most hideous state a woman can ever be in.

I ought to be shot all right. One day my tombstone inscription will say, "This is what we do to bad little boys."

Thursday, April 13, 2006

The Lost Blogs - Day 4

Note: The following is part of a Grassroots Blogger Book Marketing Campaign, or GBBMC for short. In an ingenious stint to promote Paul Davidson's book, "The Lost Blogs", over 40 bloggers will each be blogging as their preferred historical figure for a entire week and at the same time, take a shot at guessing who each of the other writers are blogging as. Do check out the other Lost Bloggers on my Blogroll and get a kick out of these fictitious blogs.

Do you know who I really am yet?

"
The Lost Blogs" will be out next month and contains artifacts written by history's most infamous personalities.

==========================================

People say I am a sexist bastard. The fact is I see absolutely nothing wrong in portraying sexy, attractive blondes in helpless, tortured situations, who are equally capable of highly criminalistic behaviours in the face of danger.

Somehow, blondes look more delicious when they turn on their animalistic wrath. They exude a kind of raw sensuality in a wild manner. Just like women with suicidal tendencies, or those consumed with extreme jealousy. Mentally unsound heroines are a blast. And being blonde just completes the picture much better. Blondes make the best victims. They're like virgin snow that shows up the bloody footprints.

There's something I don't understand. One of my movies, considered by many as my best masterpiece - is actually a commercial failure. Am I missing out on something here? And of course who could forget the Academy, who obviously delighted in nominating me six times over for the Awards for my various movie projects, but callously dangled the Oscars beyond my reach each time I was nominated. Is this some bloody kind of sick joke?

Profanity and nudity - if it offends you, you should be watching Walt Disney. I push the boundaries. I made it happened. But that's what make movies worth watching. They shouldn't conceal the truth.

Distortion of the truth is acceptable though. We all need some form of escapism in our lives sometimes, don't we all?

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

The Lost Blogs - Day 3

Note: The following is part of a Grassroots Blogger Book Marketing Campaign, or GBBMC for short. In an ingenious stint to promote Paul Davidson's book, "The Lost Blogs", over 40 bloggers will each be blogging as their preferred historical figure for a entire week and at the same time, take a shot at guessing who each of the other writers are blogging as. Do check out the other Lost Bloggers on my Blogroll and get a kick out of these fictitious blogs.

Do you know who I really am yet?

"
The Lost Blogs" will be out next month and contains artifacts written by history's most infamous personalities.

==========================================

I like the Number 13. In fact, just to let you in on a little secret, I often placed numbers that add up to thirteen in my movies. Ingenious eh? Take a closer look next time and you will see that magic figure.

Yes, I do have the tendency to lean towards the dark side, don't I? I like to explore topics which I think are sexually perverse or even kinky. Taboo subjects make good fodder for movies, no? Homosexuality, lesbanism, obssessions - they are all too familiar issues and not highlighting them does not mean they don't exist. Delusional fools are what strangle creativity and stifle freedom of expression. Such vermins should be banished to oblivion and buried alive.

My name has somehow become synoymous with suspense. Not surprising, considering most of my masterpieces revolve around murder, hauntings, death and torturous relationships which ultimately lead to psychopathic behaviours.

Do you know staircases have a certain freaky and eerie sense of aura around them? Somehow the anticipation of something or someone coming down/up the staircases could fuel significant suspenseful moments. I like the unknown fear they instill in people - just like curtains, doors and possibly wardrobes.

I made a 1" cameo appearance that day on the set crossing the top of a staircase. I wonder if Alma would be able to spot that.

Carole brought some cows to the set today. It's bloody funny actually. I have a strong suspicion it might have something to do with my comment on "actors" and "cattle". Strange publicity is better than no publicity at all - even if it may have been done out of spite.

Ultimately, I just want to make a great movie. And a good film is when the price of the dinner, the theatre admission and the babysitter were worth it.

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

The Lost Blogs - Day 2

Note: The following is part of a Grassroots Blogger Book Marketing Campaign, or GBBMC for short. In an ingenious stint to promote Paul Davidson's book, "The Lost Blogs", over 40 bloggers will each be blogging as their preferred historical figure for a entire week and at the same time, take a shot at guessing who each of the other writers are blogging as. Do check out the other Lost Bloggers on my Blogroll and get a kick out of these fictitious blogs.

Do you know who I really am yet?

"
The Lost Blogs" will be out next month and contains artifacts written by history's most infamous personalities.

==========================================

Actors should be treated like cattle. Basically, if they are not herded, they'd wander around aimlessly like lost sheep. You need to tell them exactly what to do. Few are actually masters in their profession. I guess that's why they needed me. I get paid to tell people what to do and how to do it. My life is an entertainment circuit by itself.

The best thing about my job is I get to unveil the story the way I want to tell it. In the Expressionist style - that's what they call it. I like that term. My enigmatic approach to film seems to intrigue many. Heck, they even named a camera effect after me. How bloody cool is that?

I have been told that my work tends to lean towards gallows humour. Humour that makes light of death and other serious matters. Well, life is ardous and extremely limited. I personally feel we should take life in a lighter vein. Or at least, that's what sweet Alma wants me to believe. God, where would I be without her? She has been so paramount in my career that I am truly convinced that behind every successful man stands an extraordinary woman. Alma IS that woman.

She never fails to be amused by the cameo appearances I make in my movies. I simply love to surprise her by playing the most unexpected roles. My favourite should be the one in which I appeared in a fictitious newspaper ad for a weight loss product. She spent many nights scouring through the film just to spot me. It's wicked indeed, but we had lots of fun.

I've just learnt that my movie has been nominated for an Academy Award. The Oscar trophy would look pretty good in my treasure vault.

Gotta set my three boys on a new investigative quest soon. I wonder what challenges can I pose to them this time? It's tough grappling being Hector sometimes.... Yes. I do have an identity crisis issue. Reality and fiction have merged into one blurry line and I am standing right in between the whole time.

I think it's time for another brandy.

Monday, April 10, 2006

The Lost Blogs - Day 1

Note: The following is part of a Grassroots Blogger Book Marketing Campaign, or GBBMC for short. In an ingenious stint to promote Paul Davidson's book, "The Lost Blogs", over 40 bloggers will each be blogging as their preferred historical figure for a entire week and at the same time, take a shot at guessing who each of the other writers are blogging as. Do check out the other Lost Bloggers on my Blogroll and get a kick out of these fictitious blogs.

Do you know who I really am yet?

"
The Lost Blogs" will be out next month and contains artifacts written by history's most infamous personalities.

==========================================

It's awfully tiresome to work and live in two countries, but I do love the fact that I am both a UK and US citizen. Although the American women do seem to be a tad more sensual and seductive. I simply love to hear them scream, especially the blonde ones. Figuratively, if I may add.

Sometimes I just wished Dad hadn't done what he did. How I hated him then. But then again, maybe his psychopathic joke made me what I am today. Not many people knew about it, but the past haunts me in my works still. Amazingly, it thrilled people and made me lots of money, so who's complaining? But no, NO amount of money will take away the disgust I have for those bloody law enforcers. I would probably shove my money up their arse if I ever had the chance, but nah, on second thought, they are not worth a single dime.

Talking about arse, mine hurts. Well, it figures since I am sitting down most of the time hollering at those pathetic losers who couldn't act, or writing my next novel. I should get some exercise. I am gathering a bit of a crowd around the waist, I see.

Ah.... it's time for brandy, and then on to the set. I wonder what role I should play today.